Copy of who?
Today’s review is of Conan for the XBox 360. I already know that many game reviewers have done this game, but to be honest I think that the industry has lost its way. So in the true spirit of “the little guy” perspective I think at least that you can get a decent thought of this game knowing that I have not a single penny coming from any reviewer, nor a clue on who to ask for one. So….
I really freakin liked this game. Every other review I read for this game was like a bright yellow sign advising “caution falling babies” or some other unholy disaster. I will admit here and now that I have indeed read the Robert E. Howard series so there is a lot that I actually expected from this game. For those of you that have not read the adventures of this dark haired Cimmerian, it shouldn’t stop you from enjoying this game too.
First let’s go over the overall appearance of the game, the details are nice and the scenery changes often and is quite well colored and mood evoking. The camera angles of the game were never a issue for me when playing and the movement of our barbarian was very smooth and easy to use. The controls were not complicated in the least with different buttons doing different types of attacks, one for regular, one for heavy, a jump button and a throw/grapple type button. And while it seem a simple enough setup that it may invite boredom, they surprise you by having a freaking gigantic library of moves and button combinations for Conan to perform, not only just with different combos of button presses but also different combinations and moves based on what kind of weapons that your hero has. These weapons are plentiful in the game too. From the regular one handed body hacker of a sword that you have by default you can also pick up different weapons from stands and racks in the environment and from fallen foes. I think that this is actually what makes this game so enjoyable.
Conan in the books is not a boy scout, he is a mercenary, thief, killer barbarian that is best at home in the middle of combat, and that is what he does here in true videogame goodness.You unlock new attacks and abilities with collected red runes that you gather from fallen foes and hidden treasure chests, you refill life from green runes collected from occasional enemies, some special attacks and huge wine jugs scattered about. Special attacks and powers consume a blue bar that can be refilled from breaking certain statues and of course the killing of others (seeing a theme?).
A little detour to talk about a much talked about part of the game and that would be the saving of a couple of clothing challenged wenches. From the press and internet talk I half expected a game of naked girls every 5 minutes in this game, and a couple of interesting thoughts there…. but, really there is nothing in this game you couldn’t find going through the latest line of Fredericks or watching the latest National Lampoon’s movie. For fuck’s sake a 5 second internet search will produce far more educating or entertaining pictures. ( I researched that so it’s the truth)
Basically scattered throughout the levels are women chained to a wall or pillar. These aforementioned ladies happen to not be wearing anything but the latest in fashionable “fantasy wench” thongs and sarongs. You press your action button and Conan breaks the chain, the “lady” does a stretch that makes cats jealous and shoots of a random one liner. As soon as your camera leaves the area the chick is gone and the scene is over. While the polygon model for the wench is not hard on the eyes at all this bit of the game is hardly a thing to get worked up over. Plus it actually fits in with the persona and feel of the Conan stories, so hey bonus.The game mechanics are very simple. Kill such and such, get red runes, become even more of a killing machine, save wench with laundry issues and repeat. But the game never felt like it was in a rut and the “Bosses” you kill are quite epic in proportion and battle. All in all I really recommend giving the game a whirl.
Disregard the hatred reviews of others that state you should avoid this game because it is so much like another slash and kill game of godly origin. I completely disagree with them on every level. This game is not about a guy in Greek times fighting for and against gods in Olympus, it’s about a barbarian warrior doing what he does best.
I mean really, you never hear car reviews that rant about it being a poor buy because it resembles the Model T in having four wheels…….
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